First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
