He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
