I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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