I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
