Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he was CRYING into my vagina
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
