hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
