we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
