Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Someone signed my nipple.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
