yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
