Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
