Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
