Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Randomize
