oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
