she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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