you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
