The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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