don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
