Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
