Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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