i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
