The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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