I wish you could order shots online.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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