please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
