I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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