did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
