i just had sex bonerless
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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