UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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