He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We had to coat check the pizza.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
