bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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