my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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