Sponge bath it is.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
