I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
