They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize