have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
