Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
