But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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