And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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