your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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