Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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