I'm jealous of your bromance
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
