Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I didn't notice because vodka
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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