hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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