He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
