absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
