I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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