the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
