I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
