We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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