last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
