Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
