Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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