I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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