just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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