I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
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