everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
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