is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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