My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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