don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
