Plan B is the new Plan A
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
third nipple confirmed
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
