The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
