Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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