found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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