love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
